Being pregnant is a wonderful thing. Ask any woman who has had difficulty getting or staying pregnant, and they will tell you the exact same thing. I have been pregnant 5 times in my attempts to increase the size of my family by 2. Although I stand by the assertion in the first sentence of this post, I will also say that pregnancy sucks.
There are people who have wonderful, glowing, symptom-free pregnancies. I am not one of those people. Note that my pregnancies have been mostly healthy and normal. So what I describe is neither unusual or unexpected, but it still sucks.
Pregnancy number one lasted two weeks from the positive pregnancy test at 4 weeks to the miscarriage on (Canadian) thanksgiving. I had very bad nausea from three days after that positive test to one week after the miscarriage. Of course the worst part was losing the naive wonder and excitement that your first pregnancy causes. You can't get that back. The second worst thing is calling your father to tell him that you can't make it to Thanksgiving because you're losing a pregnancy that no one had even been told about. It was a short part of my life, but it certainly changed the way that I think.
Pregnancy number two got me my dear son. Again, I suffered from nausea from almost day one. I got diclectin and dealt with the mind numbing fatigue that comes along with it. Some people get used to it. I didn't. I took this until 18 week and then I start up again around 28 weeks because the nausea doesn't always go away and stay away.
I spent the entire first 12 weeks (okay really it was 8 because you don't know you're pregnant for the first 4) worried, scared and paranoid that I would lose this one too. As I said, you don't get back that excitement. At my 18 anatomy ultrasound, we found out we were having a boy. Knowing the sex put an identity to this life growing inside me. It allowed both me and my husband to bond with the baby. That helped make things better.
The pregnancy was painful. I spent hours in discomfort, didn't sleep much, and felt pretty bad. That being said, I managed to keep teaching aerobics (ball and core) through the first trimester, and I kept teaching aquafitness until 7 months along. I also took prenatal fitness classes and took aquafitness. In fact, I had my last aquafitness class the day before my son was born.
During this pregnancy I had an anterior placenta which mean I didn't get to feel many kicks. My son was breech in such a way that natural turning methods would not be successful (no I don't remember which way - give me a break, it was 2.5 years ago). This is important as I also developed cholestasis of pregnancy. This put me at higher risk of preterm labour or still birth if I went to term. So I was monitored with 4 different appointments a week until my emergency c-section one week before the planned one (more about that another day). I was fat, busy, miserable, tired, in pain, and freaking huge. My 5 foot frame weighed 173lbs at the end of my pregnancy. My son was born October 9, 2008 almost a year to the day of my first miscarriage.
My third pregnancy lasted one week. I felt sick, and nauseous. It was not fun, but it was short. There's not much more to add. It sucked.
One month later, I got pregnant again. This time, I had no symptoms. I had what I though was my regular period. Then 5 days later, I was feeling a bit "off" and my breasts were still sore. So I took another pregnancy test. It turned out that I was pregnant. My only symptom was feeling more healthy than I could ever remember being. Unfortunatley, at 8 weeks I started bleeding. An ultrasound confirmed that the fetus had stopped growing at around 7 weeks. At 10 week, I misscarried. This one was actually physically not bad, but emotionally it was devastating. All I could ask was WFT?
So we take a break. During the time of pregnancy #3 and #4, and during this break, we sold our house, bought a new one to be built, moved into a temporary rental townhouse, moved into a new house, and watched my father in law suffer from and pass away due to cancer. My husband was also getting used to a new job that he had started a few months prior to all this, and I was teaching some of the most difficult classes ever at a new new school. It wasn't much of a break, but life doesn't stop because you're dealing with grief.
Then comes October again, we celebrate my son's 2nd birthday and get trying to increase our family again. In November, we have repeat of pregnancy #4. I get 5 days of period like bleeding, but one week later I feel off (nauseous this time too). So I take pregnancy test, and it comes back positive. Now most normal people trying for a child would celebrate. My response was "Oh, sh!t, not again." So I called my doctor and set up all the necessary appointment for blood work and then if it came back okay, for an ultrasound. The blood work came back inconclusive, but at 7 weeks we had an ultrasound with a heartbeat. It still wasn't enough to allow me to celebrate. I spent the first 18 weeks (and 2 more ultrasounds) paranoid and worrying that something was going to happen to this little one. I could not allow myself to hope until the day that my daughter was born (July 21, 2011). This pregnancy was similar to my son's with milder symptoms, and a non-emergency c-section at the end. I slept a little better, I had less pain. I could feel this one kick ALL THE TIME, and I am recovering much better this time.
Honestly though, pregnancy sucks and I never want to do it ever again. It is the only way to achieve the ends that we desired without going bankrupt, so I put up with it. I am ready to take back my body (which again ballooned up to 173 lbs, 148 lbs today at 2 weeks post partum). I am ready to move on with next phase of my life, enjoying my family.
